She doesn't care about my feelings, she doesn't have a problem with hurting me, and she probably doesn't like me very much, but I know she loves me in her way. They act out for various reasons, including compassion, guilt, filial obligation, or even a need to feel good about themselves. She does not call me or visit me, I have to always be the one to reach out, and even then she is like an ice queen robot with her automated responses and disinterest in my life. She was apparently fine with it.
I went through a horrible childhood, had the worst thing happen to me twice that could happen to me as a parent- and my womb donor tried repeatedly and still is to make it about HER. When the time comes to separate, you always know it. Realized it was about control and, as hard as this is for me to fathom as a mom myself, she seemed to resent any and all of my later successes when I managed to climb out of the hole I'd fallen into with her cheering me on. Many more incidents are thought to go un-reported with sex workers fearing they may be prosecuted.