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He has a gold dick, he eats his own skin, he can kick high and he has a funny accent. Vaak samen gekocht. But then he just tells shit jokes for ten straight minutes. Wahlberg, who bared all as porn star Dirk Diggler in "Boogie Nights," says he'll keep it clean for his new daughter's sake, Ananova. Supposedly her and Austin used to, er, date.

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Evil turning good at the end? Anyway, moving on. Be where the Beyhive comes from, can it? Apart from the journalist responsible for that Huffington Post article claiming Bey has yet to "earn" her Album of the Year Grammy, most people concur that Lemonade is an audio-visual masterpiece, with her self-titled being the only other recent release that comes close.

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